A long time ago, when God was a boy
He said "I think I’ll make some toys
“To arrange in ranks and to occupy my time”

The first few tries were far too crude
Didn’t measure his lines, used too much glue
And sex was all would fit into their minds

He started up on a brand new batch
Kept ’em warm until they hatched
But they were far too scaly to cuddle with in bed

No, he didn’t much care for these reptiles
So in his trademark, overblown biblical style
He cut the lights till he was sure that they were dead

He stepped away for a short duration
He was headstrong in youth and prone to frustration
But resolved he’d get it right next time around

So he locked his door, sketched up a plan
For what he’d call the modern man
Made teachers, bankers, park rangers and clowns

He thought, "Ok, well these might do,
“The eyes look right, not too much glue…”
So he cast them to the scenes of his imagination!

It was tense at first, God’s rough with his toys
He was young and almighty and boys will be boys
And all the praying he demanded seemed to them like masturbation

He’d have em play house and he’d have em play war
And he’d switch up the rules when he’d start to get bored
Then his mom said, “Time for school,” and he took off

Took a little while before they noticed he’d gone
“Do we play on without him, if so, how long?
“Fuck it, let’s invent the game of golf.”

When school let out, God went to his room
Took a look at his toys, got mad as a loon
They were smoking joints and discussing mathematics

He huffed until his face went blue
“If I need you, you need me too,
‘Fore the dark age is through you won’t be so ecstatic.”

Eventually he grew bored with men
And playing the same games time and again
Nearly blew it all up, but nostalgia staid his hand

“Ya ain’t as smart as you think, never do as you’re bid
“But we had some good times when I was a kid
“I just need more mature company- please understand”

They watched him go in disbelief
Then they cast their ballots to elect new chiefs
And life went on much as it had before

God picked another rock in space
Conjured up a brand new race
The sophisticated space crabs of Boptar IV

Oooooohhhhhh…….
Boptar!
Boptar!
Our home and native land!
This is glorious story of how Boptar began!

Where the bop-drops fall from the Fizzle-Bop trees
While the Boplets play with their Bop-Daddies
We bop! We bop! Bop bop!

Boptar!
Boptar!
Mother to us all!

Boptar!
Boptar!
The crabs will answer to your call!